As I am soon to turn 66, I think more and more about age and age-related afflictions such as dementia or Alzheimer’s. Then there is joint trouble, heart issues, nerve damage and a host of other non-lovely things that may happen. And of course I’ve been doing the “what did I walk into this room for?” for years now.
My eyesight is getting worse; no surprise there; it happens. The other day I was down in the basement getting ready to start some laundry, when I realized I had a new top to wash for the first time. So I squinted to read the label to see what the washing instructions were. Well, you know how tiny the print is on the dang things, so I swore my way up the stairs to get a pair of glasses to read it.
After that, I bought reading glasses for each and every room in the house. Problem solved!
But what really scared me was when I started misspelling things, or in some cases, left out letters entirely while typing on the computer. I kept envisioning myself in a nursing home, slumped over and drooling, unable to write any longer. Well, it turns out that I am not losing it. The problem is that my keyboard was sticky and some letters wouldn’t work unless you hammered down on them.
Then there is the “I’m not deaf; YOU are!” that both the Crankee Yankee and I tell each other. To fix this issue, we got a set of walkie-talkies. This was useful when the Crankee Yankee was outside working, and I was inside, or vice-versa.
Great concept, bad follow-up. Walkies don’t have a large range, so often we couldn’t reach each other. Then we got too silly with it; he was “Red Leader” and I was “Bling-Bling” (for all the jewelry I like to wear). We kept cracking each other up until both of us didn’t want to answer on the walkies anymore.
However, just for the record, I swear people are speaking faster and softer than ever. Yesterday I stopped for a coffee at the drive-up window, paid for it and got my coffee. The girl at the window smiled and said, and I quote: “Haggagooaay!” It took me a while to realize that she actually said, “Have a good day!”
All the things I did when I was younger have come back to haunt me in different body parts: learning and then teaching Tae Kwon Do, hiking, skiing, running, aerobics, power yoga, etc. At the time I was enjoying these activities (and never woke up with an ache or pain!), it never occurred to me to think about what all of this was doing to my body.
But you know what? If someone warned me back in my 30s that eventually I would have two torn rotator cuffs, shin splints, a knee revision, a bunion on one foot and a bad back, I would have just dismissed it with ‘oh, that won’t happen to me!’
What is it that the wonderful Penn-Dutch say about age? “We grown too soon old, and too late smart!”
Ain’t that the truth!