Stop “Shoulding” on Ourselves!

As soon as I learned to drive as a teenager, I found out that I had a terrible sense of direction. I got lost more times than I can say. However, I was fine if I wrote down the directions to where I needed to go. To this day I write down directions to be sure I don’t get lost.

Now the Crankee Yankee is pretty much my GPS system, so that’s a big help. I’m sure I’m not the only person in the world who has a bad sense of direction, but still I feel a bit foolish about it. This is why I always write down the directions I need.

So why am I telling you this? This is just another example of “self-shoulding.” We call ourselves “stupid” and “useless” and so on, and that never helps anyone. It only makes us feel badly about ourselves, and who needs that?

So instead of constantly calling myself stupid, I write down the directions I need; I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who does this. This way I’m confident that I can get to where I need to go and get back home safely. None of us are perfect; some of us are great with directions, some are not. If you are part of the “not good with directions” as I am, let’s make an agreement right here and now to stop “shoulding” on ourselves. This means no more swearing and telling yourself that you’re an idiot, this means no more feeling stupid— trust me; there are LOADS of people who are “directionally challenged.”

We are what we are: some of us are excellent in many ways, some of us have certain issues we seem to have been born with—this does NOT mean that we are stupid or useless or unfit to drive. We can live with and manage our lives nicely without telling ourselves that we should be this, that or the other thing.

Here’s what I personally am going to do on this very day: I am going to forgive myself for being “directionally challenged.” I’m going to be proud of myself for all the good things I do, and I’m going to stop right now calling myself an idiot. No more “I should have this or that, etc.” Everyone makes mistakes now and then; it’s not a crime. Let’s be proud of who we are and what we do. It’s not the end of the world if we slip up from time to time; we are human.

Are you with me? No more “shoulding” on ourselves!

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