Every relationship has ups and downs; we are not perfect. We are just plain people, trying to live our lives. When someone we love dearly hurts our feelings, it is a deep hurt. It may hurt for a day, a week, a month; it all depends how deep it is. Many couples who love each other dearly can have hurts like these. While we know in our hearts and minds that we are committed to our loved one, there are still times when we would gladly walk away from them—for a while, anyway.
We may try to live through it and forgive and try to forget; but that hurt may bother us for an unspecified amount of time. One of us may snap at the other for no other reason other than the other person is having an off day. In our heads, we realize that our feelings may be hurt, but the other person may not see it that way.
This is when the “*let it go, Elsa” moment needs to happen. As close as we are to the one we love, we don’t always see eye to eye. We can let ourselves brood on what was said or done, or we can realize that no matter what, we love each other. Sometimes it’s not easy to approach the other person and apologize; however, when we do, that burden of guilt, shame and hurt goes away pronto.
It’s like that old saying: “look at the doughnut, not the hole.” That is, we need to realize what truly matters and what truly doesn’t. Is what happened a huge issue or just a little piddley one? Take it from me (and I admit that I can be damned stubborn and bull-headed), usually these things really don’t matter. What really matters is that we love and care for each other. Once we realize that being stubborn isn’t worth it, then we can honestly say to our loved one: “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said.”
In that moment we can realize and understand what matters and what doesn’t matter.
*From the Disney movie, “Frozen.”