Vanity Plates and Why We Love Them

I wrote this years ago, and it still makes me laugh. Since many of us will be on the road this week, we can at least get a laugh or two while driving!


The first vanity plate I ever had was in college with my first car, a pale yellow Nissan. The plate read “JAY-B,” my nickname at the time. I used to love to have people shout out, “hi, JAY-B!” when I drove around.

After that, I just didn’t bother. But I do have one now I’ve had for a few years: “KTNXBYE” (“Ok, thank you, goodbye!”). I get a kick out of people asking me what it means.

The Crankee Yankee wants his next license plate to read “TRSTNO1” (“Trust no one”). We are both huge X-Files fans.

Others I’ve seen in NH read “POOP-C,” “HA-HA,” “NAZGUL” (obviously a Lord of the Rings fan), “PIGLET” (on one of those little tiny Smart cars–hilarious!), and also these:

  • UR2LAT8
  • U2SLOW

Then there are these from other states:

From New York: “MMMBACON”

From Virginia: “OMG MOVE”

From Maine (on a septic system truck): “GOTPOOP”

On a hearse: “U R NXT”

A few that had to be accidental are these:

From Georgia: “4NNIK8”

From California: “FNKIDS” (I think they meant “fun kids”)

From Pennsylvania: “NCST MOM” (I think they may have meant “nicest mom”)

From Virginia: “4SKINZ” (really?)

From California: “DVA GINA” (this was actually Gina the Diva’s car)

So why do we love vanity plates? Personally, I think we like to stand out a little, make a comment with our vanity plates, or just enjoy them as a conversation starter.

There was another I saw online from Virginia that cracked me up: the car was an Impala, with “Impala” stamped right below the plate that read “VLAD THE” so that it looked like “VLAD THE IMPALA.” Hilarious!

Making up a cool or funny vanity plate using only a limited number of letters and numbers, or, in the case of poor Gina the Diva; an unconscious boo-boo which will live on far after the car has slipped its moral coil–well, that’s beyond mere vanity; that’s pretty dang clever.

Plus it’s good entertainment on the road.

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