There’s a big difference between the “need-to” things vs. the “no need-to” things. It’s easy to muddle them together, too—“need-to’s” are specific; we need to breathe, eat, sleep and be present. The “no need-to’s” are things we can let go of, or do them at another time, or just let them go for now.
That said, it’s too easy to mix them up. Example: “need-to” things are usually mundane, such as paying the bills, making meals, cleaning the house, registering the vehicles, and so on. But it’s the “no need-to” things that we actually do not need to do, such as trying to make that incredibly difficult fruit cake that your Auntie Thingy loves that takes hours to make.
The need-tos are pretty mundane; in fact, most of us just do them without thinking. What trips us up is the “no need-to’s” such as:
- washing the car so the neighbors won’t think you’re a slob
- picking the last tomatoes because they are still coming on, when you know you have already made way too much spaghetti sauce
- trying to clip the cat’s nails; forget about it—the cat will hate you for it
- putting on false eyelashes when you know they are going to end up on your cheek or in your soup
- buying an outrageously priced skin cream; just use Ponds for Pete’s sake
- wearing an outfit that’s uncomfortable; why should you suffer?
And the list goes on. Just ask yourself if what you are proposing to do is a real “need to” or just a no need-to.” Trust me, you’ll figure it out.