America’s REAL Crack Problem

We have all heard about illicit drugs and opioids and how terrible they are and how addicting they are. However, the Crankee Yankee and I witnessed a serious crack problem while having lunch yesterday at one of our favorite Chinese restaurants.

However, our lunch yesterday was anything but normal. We were just about finishing up when a very portly older man came in to have lunch. He went up to the buffet to fill his plate, and that’s when we (plus a table of four older guys next to us) saw America’s REAL crack problem.

The portly man had suspenders on which were much too long in the back. His saggy pants and too long suspenders allowed a generous view of his upper butt crack. The four guys beside our table were killing themselves laughing, and I’m not proud of this, but we were as well. The poor guy had no idea he was flashing everyone in the restaurant.

I wish that I were that kind and compassionate person who could go up to him and tell him about his crack problem—but sadly I was laughing so hard I could barely stand up. I am positive that, when I finally make my way to the pearly gates of Heaven that some avenging angel will tell me what a terrible person I was. I’ll probably be forced to flash my own butt crack for all eternity…

 

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