The Bitchy Grammarian

I would bet my favorite ring that grammar in schools today are, for the most part, as dead as the dodo bird. It’s not like I took a survey of every school in the area to find this out; bad grammar and terrible usage is everywhere. I’ll also bet that the Strunk and White Elements of Style book is as obselete as the dodo bird’s mom.

Back in the day where grammar and English classes were mandatory, we learned how to speak properly and effectively. Not stuffy, mind you, just easily understood proper English.

But in these days, language, grammar, and just plain talk has become a whole new ‘thing.’ I will admit that I just don’t get ‘street speak’ or ‘techno speak.’ And I swear that one of these days if I hear someone salt and pepper their speech with a gozillion “likes” I will scream.

When Webster’s dictionary began accepting these so-called “modern” words and phrases, I felt as though it was the end of the world as we know it. For someone of my age, it seems ridiculous to slouch up to someone saying “s’up?” In my book, that’s right up there with fist bumps. I am no longer young and do not wish to speak the lingo of the times. Call me old-fashioned, but there you are.

As I like to say, I don’t particularly give the fuzzy crack of a rat’s buttocks who says street lingo or worse. Just don’t say it to me or expect me to understand it, or worse: speak it.

Annnnnnd that’s why they call me the Bitchy Grammarian.

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