Forgiveness is a grace, a letting-go of pride, hurt or imagined injury. Forgiveness is what frees up both parties to breathe again and start over again. Forgiveness lets our hearts and minds open up again with faith and joy.
Carrying real or imagined grudges are so toxic and cause so much unnecessary pain. Our pride gets hurt and we seal ourselves up with what we believe is righteous indignation. We carry that load of hurt and resentment and for what? All that angst and anger just wastes precious time and energy.
Even when faced with the correct information, we can still be stubborn and say, ‘well, I can forgive, but I can’t forget.’ That kind of thinking gets us nowhere. Real forgiveness is not easy. Real forgiveness demands letting go of old resentments that may not have been true in the first place.
And all those old resentments just harden up in our minds and bodies, and it ends up hurting ourselves, not the one whom we resent. How does hanging on to old hurts help anything or anybody?
Most of resentments are just plain stupid pride. Pride itself is such an ephemeral thing; no real shape or substance, just a stubborn concept to keep our self-righteousness in place. And when that happens, we can’t possibly go forward; we are stuck in the quagmire of our own foolish pride.
Forgiveness is not just for other people and events in our lives. Forgiveness is also the ability to forgive ourselves. While we can get to where we can forgive others, it’s hard to forgive ourselves. Let’s face it, it does no good put ourselves in self-imposed martyrdom. We too deserve to be forgiven.
True forgiveness means that we forgive and forget. That last is the hardest part, but it has to be done. It’s the only way to peace of mind and it’s easier than you think. Sometimes all we need to do is to look in our mirror and say out loud “I forgive you.” Say this as many times as necessary to let it sink in.
Forgiving others is a great thing. Forgiving ourselves is the BEST thing.