Merry Christmas! Just imagine people all over the world who celebrate Christmas, and we are part of it! It is wonderful to know that on this day we can relax into the arms of the holiday and all it means.
I realize that this is not always possible, but it’s a goal to go for. This is a day to let go of all pain, bad experiences, and hurtful things.
I recently had the priviledge of eating a huge slice of humble pie. Long story short, I had worked with a woman during years ago in Texas. She was my boss, and I often wrote for her online store. She was intelligent, funny, generous and kind. She treated all those who worked for her well, including me.
Because of a relatively small misunderstanding between us, we grew apart. I moved from Texas to New Hampshire, where the Crankee Yankee and I got married. Now and then I would get an email from her, and each time I did, I felt resentment for what I felt was unfinished business between us.
I had let that resentment simmer and smoulder for years. Whenever I would hear from her, I would write back the most minimal response I could. The last time she emailed me, I wrote back saying that I would prefer that she never contact me again. I received a message back, and in her words I could feel her anger but mostly her hurt. I realized that I had let the past consume me, and in doing so, I hurt her feelings.
A long time passed. Then just this week I received a handwritten letter from her along with a check. She had just found out about my mother’s death and wrote me a heartfelt letter. In it she described how much it had meant to her that I had written a sympathy letter when her husband died suddenly, years ago. She had been touched by it, and when she heard about my mother, she wrote me a five page letter about grief, loss and mothers. The check was for donating to any cause my mother supported (it will go to one of the animal shelters Mom cared about).
The letter was touching and sincere. There was no mention of my dismissive email to her; just a kind and considerate letter honoring my mother. After I stopped crying, I wrote a letter to her. I apologized for my abrupt email to her, and told her about my dad’s passing and much more. In the letter I told her that I would welcome her emails anytime, and I thanked her for her kindness and the check.
I hope that she can forgive me; I am working on forgiving myself. During this day of love, kindness, joy and hope, may we all overlook the things that don’t matter and embrace the things that do matter. Let us let go of old hurts and resentments. We may never know how the other person feels, but we can certainly reach out a hand of welcome, forgiveness and love.