“Put That Thing Back Where It Came From, Or So Help Me!”

If any of you are fans of Monsters Inc. (voice overs for the two main characters, Sully (John Goodman) and Mike (Billy Crystal), you will remember the “play” that they came up with, called “Put That Thing Back Where It Came From, Or So Help Me!”

Folks, I am living that same play 24/7. I am sure that I am either anal retentive or OCD, but it drives me nuts when I can’t find something that I know I put in a certain place. Ever see that commercial with the cute little toddler in his plastic car, dropping trails of cereal in his wake? Well, that’s pretty much what the Crankee Yankee does. And there is always a reason why, for example, the “office scissors” are now downstairs in his “engineering area.” To which I answer: “and I’m supposed to know that…how?”

I have found items I thought were lost showing up in places where they have no business being. Example: the little dustpan and brush we use to sweep up little messes is gone. It used to live on a hook on the stairwell going down to the basement. I gave up trying to find it, and just bought two more sets.

Don’t get me wrong, there have been many times (ok: many, MANY times) when I’ve put something down somewhere and just can’t find it. It makes me both anxious (as in am I getting soft in the head?) and angry (because I know that the missing something is probably his fault), so I vent (loudly enough for the Crankee Yankee to hear) saying things such as “Well! It seems as though the <insert lost item here> has sprouted wings and has flown off!”

I am very fond of Sharpie pens, fine-point black. Over the 17 years that we have been married, I have lost dozens of my pens to the Crankee Yankee. Evidently he turns into a crow at night and picks up my favorite pens and puts them in his nest in the top of a tall pine, cackling all the way…

I just don’t get it. If you pick something up, put it back where you found it. Or so help me…

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One thought on ““Put That Thing Back Where It Came From, Or So Help Me!”

  1. homerunbooks says:

    In my house, it is, for some reason, the meat thermometer. Why can’t they just put that where it belongs, in the drawer next to the stove????

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