I don’t remember where I heard this joke, but to this very day it cracks me up. In fact, I can’t even tell it to people without laughing my head off. (FYI, this is exactly why I’m not a world-famous comedian; I can’t stop laughing when I tell jokes.) So here it is, and please know that I am laughing right along with you.
A man hadn’t been a very good person in life, and when he died, he went straight to Hell. The Devil met him there, and told him that, considering all of the horrible people in Hell who had commited heinous crimes in life, the man wasn’t all that bad.
The devil said, “since you weren’t too terrible in life, I’m going to let you choose which part of Hell you will dwell in for all eternity.” The man, who had expected much worse, was of course glad to hear this.
The Devil said, “now I am going to show you three places in Hell. You can take a look at them all, and decide in which one you will spend all eternity.”
The man said that was fair enough, and he followed the Devil into the first place. In it, there were men and women up to their necks in poop. They were struggling to stay afloat, but, as the man watched, several went under and came up gagging and coughing. He told the Devil that that was pretty awful, and the Devil agreed.
He took the man to the second place. In it, people were sitting in poop and feeding it to each other. He shuddered as he watched and he told the Devil that this was just terrible.
So the Devil showed him the final place. To his great surprise, the man saw groups of people sitting in nice chairs and having coffee. The poop was only up to their ankles. He thought, ‘how bad could that be? I could put up with poop on my feet and drink coffee for all eternity.’
So he told the Devil that this would suit him well. The Devil shook his hand, and ushered him into the room and then closed the door. The man sat between two nice-looking ladies, and they all chatted while enjoying their coffee.
Suddenly, a demon walked through the door, snapped his whip and shouted, “Ok folks; coffee break’s over. Everyone back on their heads!”
(Yes, I am laughing right now!)