Despite what we may hear on the news or watch on television or our devices, there are plenty of good and decent men in our country. The past few weeks have been terrible with allegations flung far and wide to the point where people have become pretty uncivilized. I am not going to get into details here, just suffice it to say that our nation is devolving into a massive mud-slinging fest where no one wins.
Yes, there are men who have been and are predators. Yes, there have been dreadful things done to innocent people that have ruined their lives. Yes, there are men who feel that anything and anyone that they want are fair game and that they have a right to do whatever they want.
That said, there are hundreds of thousands of good, decent men in our country. Hundreds of thousands of men were raised by strong women who let them know that they do not have a right to intimidate, bully, pressure or attack anyone “just because.” There are hundreds of thousands of good men who are horrified that others of their sex prey on the innocent. There are hundreds of thousands of good men who would gladly give their lives to protect their loved ones. There are hundreds of thousands of good men who teach their boys and girls how to respect both themselves and each other.
Speaking as a former victim of sexual abuse at a very young age, I understand how hard it is to talk about it. I get it that it’s a lot easier to just bury those feelings of shame than to bring it all out into the light. Again, speaking only for me, I always felt that it was somehow my fault that those things happened to me. That is the worst of it; that you really believe that you somehow invited these things.
If something has happened to you, no matter how long ago it was, treat yourself kindly. Talk to a therapist or someone else whom you trust. Speaking the words will set you free. It isn’t easy, but it can be done. Know beyond a shadow of doubt that you are worth-while. Know that you did not invite what happened to you. Know that you have been victimized and that you do not need to feel ashamed or worthless.
When you allow yourself to speak the truth, you can finally let out the anger, the hurt and the shame. You will cry, you will be angry, and most of all you will rip off that thick scab that has burdened you for far too long. All of this releases the poison in your soul, and allows you to realize that what happened to you was not your fault.
I promise you that, once you let go and speak out, your life will change in a way that you could never have predicted. You will find solace, safety, comfort and, best of all, you will come to see your own worth. Please do this for all who love and care for you, but most of all, do it for YOU. YOU are worth it.