Dealing With Bullies

There are bullies everywhere, and they are not just school kids who troll other kids on social media. They are both sexes, all ages, all sizes, all colors, and all nationalities. They are everywhere.

Whatever their issues are, they take their anger or disappointment or grudges out on others to make themselves feel better. They rejoice in hurting or humilating others. Perhaps it makes them feel bigger, better, stronger or smarter than other people; who knows?

Bullying can be physical, psychological, pathological, degrading or just plain mean. Some bullies bully with words, some with physical violence, and some with a knack for feeding into their victims’ fear. My guess is that bullying is the only thing that keeps them going each day. They get pleasure out of being cruel.

If this is what makes them get out of bed each day, I am sorry for such wasted lives. To me, they are like mean kids who get a kick out of pulling the wings off flies. There’s no reason to their bullying other than that they get pleasure out of it, or they feel that they need to put someone in their proper “place.” I think bullying may be the only thing that gives them a sense of self; this may be the only thing they have going in life for them.

While this never justifies bullying, it does help explain it. I know from experience that trying to reason with bullies seldom works. But what does work is to not engage or give them the pleasure of seeing the damage they inflict. That only gives them the mean satisfaction that they have hurt you. Worse, engaging may make them step up their bullying.

I believe that bullies get what’s coming to them sooner or later, but if we let them see that they have hurt or humiliated us, they win. Walking away and not engaging gives them nothing. I also believe in “GOGI,” which means “Garbage Out, Garbage In.” The more garbage a bully throws at you, the more garbage comes back to the bully. This is actually an exercise in physics.

Example: when you throw a stone into a pond, the ripples will go out to reach the shore. Once they do, the ripples come right back to where the stone fell, and they come back harder.

It is a true example of ‘what goes around, comes around.’ While you may not have the satisfaction of seeing that happen, you can rest assured that it will happen. You don’t need to say a word; good old karma will take care of those bullies, sooner or later.





One thought on “Dealing With Bullies

  1. Diane Kirkup says:

    most helpful Jane … it’s hard to believe at 72 one can still be bullied. It’s an encounter with a sad unfilled soul … sad indeed!

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