How About a Nice Glass of Shut-the-Hell-Up?

Years ago when my best friend came to visit me in Texas, we were walking through San Antonio’s River Walk, enjoying the sights and the people. We stopped to look at graphic t-shirts in a shop window, and were laughing about the one that read “Don’t Make Me Open Up a Can of Whup Ass on You!”

There had been a small gaggle of talkative women walking near us, and the lead talker never seemed to even take a breath. She just nattered on and on and on. My friend leaned close to me and whispered “she needs a nice glass of shut-the-hell-up!” I nearly wet my pants laughing, and those ladies never did stop talking. We both agreed that “How about a nice glass of shut-the-hell up?” would make a great t-shirt.

I’ve met people who can’t seem to stop talking, and you wonder how they can keep it up for so long. In my family, there was an uncle who could talk for hours. Just when you thought he was winding down, he would jump right into a new subject, and on he’d go. I used to wish that I could offer him a peanut butter and crazy glue sandwich.

I was once watching a documentary on small children all over the world and how they communicate with each other. What was most fascinating was that nearly every culture has know-it-alls, constant yappers, people who never seem to run out of breath, and so on.

However, most of the children established a sort of “wait your turn” mentality. I was watching a group of little British kids, and a few began talking over the others. One little boy seemed to have established himself as the master of ceremonies.

“One at a time!” he said in his little British voice. When they did not stop, he spoke louder: “Please! One at a time!” And believe it or not, they all stopped, and did take turns.

If only we adults could do the same!

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