If You Don’t Have Anything Good to Say, Shut It

I really don’t understand people who are mean on purpose to other people. And it doesn’t always come from the safe anonymous shelter of social media, either.

I knew a couple who just could not shut up about fat people. Each and every time they saw someone who was heavy, they always made cruel and snarky remarks about them. While they didn’t roll down the windows and shout this abuse to them, they just couldn’t stop yapping about fat people.

There was no consideration of how this person came to be fat; it was always about how self-indulgent and lazy they were. Worst of all, you could just see the people around them cringe, especially those who were carrying a few extra pounds. It was cruel and completely unnecessary.

so wanted to say “you don’t know these people. You don’t know what their lives are like. You are making assumptions for them that you would hate if someone did the same to you. Plus, you are better than this; really—making fun of people who don’t look or act the way you think they should be; who named you judge and jury?”

I don’t think that some people realize the hurt that they cause in saying something rude or intrusive to someone. It would be great if we could just accept each other the way we are, not what other people think we should be.

I think that too often we make assumptions based on looks or dress or size. Recently I was reading a post where a pregnant women in her 8th month was told that she looked like the Goodyear blimp. Really?!? How is it ever funny to say that to a woman about to bring another human being into this world?

How much better would it be to find something positive to say to or about someone? Making a judgement that is hurtful makes the “judge” look small and mean. What’s wrong with giving someone a sincere compliment?

I like to remember the movie “Bambi” when Thumper the rabbit’s mom told Thumper “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”

Oh, if only!

 

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One thought on “If You Don’t Have Anything Good to Say, Shut It

  1. pamkirst2014 says:

    Amen, Jane! One of my firm beliefs is that we have to search, even when it seems very hard, to find the positives and strengths in ALL people we encounter…and in ourselves. It’s too easy to chalk off the flaws and walk away. I wonder what I miss when I do that…surely the walls of my little, satisfied world do not expand…

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