Beware the Pitcher Plant People

Many years ago, a neighbor of mine and I were friends. She was very smart and very opinionated, and knew a lot about many things. She was a whiz with numbers, and one year she generously helped me with my taxes and made the whole process much easier for me.

At that time in my life, when I thought I had found a kindred spirit, I would let my guard down and be open about everything. She was the kind of person you get drawn to; she was funny, intelligent, opinionated and confident. At that time, I was pretty shy and unsure of myself, so it was easy to gravitate toward her.

This woman simply adored any “lame duck” that came her way; she lived to help them and saw herself as a savior of lame ducks and losers. She would lure you in with her seemingly honest friendship, find out all your weak spots and then use them against you. By the time I figured her out, I had unknowingly fallen into her “*pitcher plant.”

This experience changed me; from that time on, I found it difficult to trust people. I felt like a fool to have let someone into my life who would use my vulnerabilities against me. Getting angry with people like this is a futile effort; they honestly feel that they are right about everything and that it is their duty to somehow save others from themselves.

In their minds, they are always right, and they honestly feel that they are doing good in the world. It was my first experience at having my trust betrayed, but it was a learning experience. I believe that people like this may start out with good intent, but they just can’t seem to help themselves and they go too far.

I learned the hard way to avoid the “pitcher plant people.” I believe that they really feel that they are helping people, when they really are not. It isn’t a bad thing to trust, but just be judicious in whom you trust.

*From Wikipedia: Pitcher plants are several different carnivorous plants which have modified leaves known as pitfall traps—a prey-trapping mechanism featuring a deep cavity filled with digestive liquid.

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