What Our Tears Are Telling Us

Many people are easy criers; I’m one of them. I cry sad tears and happy tears; sometimes for no reason. You can say that tears are simply a relief valve, but they are more than that. Often what our tears are telling us is that we need a release; a break, a time-out. Tears are often a response to sadness, pain, worry, fear, doubt; they come to cleanse the wounds we carry.

There are sad tears and happy tears, laughter tears and angry tears. A long time ago I realized that I was an easy crier, which made me a better writer. Emotions often block my ability to speak, so I write.

Some say that tears are a sign of weakness; that we can’t control our emotions. I say that tears are a sign of strength and release. I used to be ashamed of my easy crying and felt it was a weakness; I hated to have anyone see me cry.

But during my life some events have brought me to my knees and the only way to survive them is to cry. The Crankee Yankee is always wonderful about this, and says that it’s not a bad thing to wear one’s heart on one’s sleeve. After nearly 16 years of marriage, those words have helped me through all the tears I could not hold back.

I believe that our tears are akin to a pot of boiling water. When the pot heats up, bubbles form and jump up to the surface. So do our tears that spring from our eyes when we just can’t contain whatever emotion brought them on.

The ridiculously happy tears are another story all together. When we met our first granddaughter, Ava, there were happy and joyous tears. Two years ago, when Ava’s little sister, Juliette, was born, she was in the NICU for a few weeks. There were many anxious and worried tears; which turned into happy tears when she was able to come home, safe and healthy.

Over the years I’ve learned to just let go when I feel teary. There’s nothing wrong with a good cry, and after I do cry, I can almost hear my whole system go “ahhhhhh!” Often that’s the “reset” button I need to go on with my day. There’s no stigma on crying except for the ones we put on ourselves. So, as we like to say in our house, “*let it go, Elsa!”

*From the Disney movie, “Frozen.”

 

 

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4 thoughts on “What Our Tears Are Telling Us

  1. D.B. Moone says:

    Jane,

    What a touching post to awaken to this morning. I found myself smiling as I felt I was reading about myself.

    Too often throughout my life, I have always been told that I was too sensitive or too emotional. Of course, the criticism for crying brought me to shedding silent tears. The judgments of others often left me feeling less than, or incomplete as a person. I questioned my own beliefs that I cried or shed my tears as I did because I believed that my feelings and thoughts came from a deeper place within me. I suspected that my ability to feel so profoundly was a gift that aided me in the craft of my writing. I struggled with accepting this as the truth.

    Your post affirmed that which I struggled with accepting as the truth for so many years. Thank you.

    • lulujbf7 says:

      Thank you so much, D.B.! I too was often told I was way too emotional. But this and our tears are part of who we are and we need to honor that in ourselves.

      I couldn’t agree more about how these deep feelings make us better writers, too.

      Best,

      Jane

  2. Jodi says:

    I’m an easy crier too – and I’m not ashamed of it. 🙂 I feel life very emotionally. I’m glad you do too!

  3. Diane Kirkup says:

    Jane, thank you always for your sharing … tears, they are a release so we can renew … God gave us the ability to “cry” it’s healing .

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