No Holiday Sweaters for Me, Please

Love them or hate them, holiday sweaters are here to stay. Each year they seem to be more lurid than the year before. I know people who love having “ugly seasonal sweater” parties; it’s their thing and they wouldn’t miss it for the world. Here are a couple of beauts I found on the Internet:

Snowtorious - Ugly Christmas Sweater (Red)  Ugly Christmas Sweater Men's Reindeer Hood Sweater - Blue Onyx 2 - L

I don’t know what it is about them that get to me, but don’t go by my opinion; I don’t even wear graphic t-shirts. Check these out:

Not my circus Don't Poke The Bear 

The Crankee Yankee however is a big fan of graphic tees (which makes my life easier at Christmas and birthdays!). I often will work with a graphic t-shirt guy and make up my own sayings for him, such as:

  • “I Didn’t Get This Old by Being Stupid” —another crowd pleaser.
  • “I Have Nothing to Do and All the Time in the World to Do It” —always good for a laugh.
  • “Nobody Pantses America!” A great line from the TV show, “Madame Secretary.”
  • “Wicked Smaht” —ubiquitous saying in any t-shirt shop in Maine.
  •  “I May Be Wrong, But It’s Highly Unlikely.” (This one caused a major traffic jam at our favorite breakfast place—all the men wanted one, and all their wives just rolled their eyes.) BTW, I didn’t make this up; I bought in online.

But back to holiday sweaters. During one Christmas season, a co-worker of mine offered to lend me one of hers. Now try to imagine how to turn that offer down politely. I didn’t, I just said that wool sweaters make me itch.

But hey—don’t go by me; this is only my take on holiday sweaters. You could walk right up to me in your own holiday sweater, and I would only say, “wow….that’s some sweater!”

Just don’t try to make me wear one. Just—-don’t.


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