On the Edge

On the edge of ready tears

I am still learning to face my fears—

Bad dreams and worry

Only make me hurry

To stand on my own

Never really alone

I have not lost my powers—

Even when I’ve lost hours

Of sleep, peace, hope, dreams—

The present time is not what it seems

Only a pass-through to the light

Where I can rest, and leave the fight

That weakens and holds me fast

To the grief of future, present and past—

This must end; it can’t go on

This will not be my swan song—

I’ve lived with this for far too long

I believe my heart will let go its pain

Let go its loss and hurt, and breathe again.

(Happy birthday, Dad; you would have been 93 today.)

 

 

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4 thoughts on “On the Edge

  1. Diane Kirkup says:

    Dearest Friend, my spirit is right with you today. This day of your Dad’s birth … his 93rd birthday… I am aware of your heart and hold you close in mine and I know his heart is joined with yours.

  2. lulujbf7 says:

    Thank you, Diane. I appreciate your comment very much.

  3. Jodi says:

    Oh Jane! The first after his passing. This one is the hardest. Every first this year will be the hardest. First Christmas without Dad, first Jane’s birthday without dad, first everything that was important to both of you. Know that it will eventually get easier and it is so very normal to feel this way. Allow yourself to grieve. Sending HUGS!!

  4. Alison Jolda says:

    Sending you some love……….

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