Tim Conway, Comedy Genius

I am an easy laugher; lots of things tickle my funnybone. Mom was the same way; I can still see her sitting in her favorite chair; right leg flung over left leg, one hand on her heart, head thrown back, howling with laughter.

Now Dad was another story. He would smile or chuckle at some things, but the one person who just cracked him up was Tim Conway. We used to love watching the Carol Burnett Show, and especially loved it when the cast just lost it when Tim went off script. If you have never seen the famous dentist sketch with Tim Conway and Harvey Korman, do yourself a favor and Google it up. (I strongly suggest that you pee first.)

The following are some of Tim Conway’s quotes; enjoy.

  • I spend a lot of time thinking of the Hereafter – each time I enter a room I wonder what I’m here after.
  • I resent my barber when he charges the full cost after he cuts my hair, but he says he’s charging me for finding it.
  • I’ve never really taken anything very seriously. I enjoy life because I enjoy making other people enjoy it.
  • I like to work a lot with wood. I make furniture that falls apart. I also sew.
  • As a kid I was short and only weighed 95 pounds. And though I was active in a lot of Sports and got along with most of the guys, I think I used comedy as a defense mechanism. You know making someone laugh is a much better way to solve a problem than by using your fists.
  • At first I wanted to be a jockey. I rode horses in Cleveland but I kept falling off and I was afraid of horses. So there wasn’t much of a future in it.
  • The reason ‘The Carol Burnett Show’ did so well in the ratings is because people were looking for that comfort zone when the whole family sat around and watched television and enjoyed it.
  • I don’t watch a lot of TV anymore. A lot of it isn’t the kind of thing you can feel comfortable with watching with your kids. And I still feel that way even though, now, my kids are in their 30s.
  • Fortunately my wife is understanding. When I come home from the races she never asks any questions, if I tell her I just ate a $380 hot dog.
  • If only my folks had beaten me, I could have gotten some material about my miserable childhood. But as it is, I’ve had a great life.
  • My career is pretty much over. I’m out in the Valley eating soft-boiled eggs.
  • It’s hard to be sad when you’re laughing, so I enjoy making people happy.
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