Products for the Paranoid Cat Owner

I admit it, I’m more than a little paranoid about our four cats; Nala, Pookie, Plumpy-Nut and Tinker. I am always bugging the Crankee Yankee to check our window and door locks, and to make sure that there isn’t a crack or hole or space of any kind upstairs (or as we call it, “Renovation City”) that any of our cats can slink out of without our knowledge. While Plumpy and Tinker are indoor/outdoor cats, they wear collars (reflective, of course) with their name tags, address and phone number and their Home Again tags (they were strays that we had been feeding and sheltering for months, so we finally just adopted them).

But just in case Nala and Pookie, the indoor/outdoor cats, should get out, they too wear collars with their ID and Home Again tags. It is probably overkill, but better safe than sorry. All this made me think of some great products for pet-owners like me who continually think up bizarre circumstances about their cats disappearing, etc. So, in no particular order, here’s my list so far:

  • Cat Carrier Security Strap – For cat carriers, since I don’t trust that I may one day pick one up with a cat inside, only to have it break open like a pinata, spilling the cat out into the dangerous territory of the world—a sturdy canvas strap with a padlock on it. This would go around the carrier to insure that it never breaks open; then you only have to unlock the padlock.
  • Attachable Safe Catio – custom-made “catio” ready to attach to the house; complete with one large room that is wall to wall grass and catnip so that they get that ‘roll in the garden’ fun, another room with cozy sleeping areas (complete with waterproof roll-down curtains in case of a sudden rain), and a circular area about 10′ high surrounding a tree so that they can climb in safety. All rooms of course will have sturdy ceilings to discourage birds of prey.
  • Safe Kitty Walkway – For those times with Plumpy and Tinker are outside, a sturdy covered walkway over the street (but not high enough to mess with power lines and heavy trucks) so that they can safely get across the street and back without danger. How will they stay on the walkway, you may ask? Easy—each step releases a treat and/or a live field mouse.
  • Alarm Cat – a special alarm set up in the house so that should any cat slip out of the house unnoticed, a loud alarm will go off, and cast a net over the escapee.
  • Broadcast Alarm Cat – a special alarm on the cat’s collar that reaches every frequency in the immediate area; cell phone, SmartPhones, etc. that yells loudly that one of our cats is crossing the street. Extra Accessory – personal drone GPS’d for each cat with ‘catch and carry’ comfortable cage; brings ’em home safe and sound.

Since our four cats are our babies, we tend to think way outside of the box (no, not the cat box) when it comes to their health and safety. Well, ok; it’s really me who would buy each and every one of those devices. The Crankee Yankee knows better and worries less, God bless him!.

So, if any rich inventor reading this wants to collaborate with me on these and other cat safety items, you just let me know.

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