It’s Not Alzheimer’s, It’s “*CRS”

Well, it’s finally happening to me—I am not only forgetting things, but I seem to have even forgotten that I have forgotten something. For years now I’ve been walking into a room, and then think “why did I walk in here?” But that’s pretty common…..right?

These days even more weird things are happening. For example, last evening I happened to glance at my wrist, and there was a green rubber band on it. I do NOT remember putting it on my wrist. How do these things happen?

The Crankee Yankee, as always, has a theory. He tells me that I am “so focused” that I may be misplacing things (or putting rubber bands on my wrist) because I am thinking ahead instead of thinking in the present. Ha—he should talk!

For instance, he knows that I am manic about putting things back in their proper place when I’m finished using them. I’ve lost count of how many times I have said loudly when he is around, ‘where did the kitchen scissors (or my favorite little spatula, or those cute and handy miniature wire whisks I used to have, or my old sterling salad spoon, etc.) go?’

I KNOW that the Crankee Yankee did not put them (or whatever else I can’t find) back where they belong. I will probably find them in the garden, or lying beside the bottle of water he also left outside, or downstairs on top of the washer. Or on a spaceship speeding back to Mars, probably.

But back to losing things, forgetting things, misplacing things, well—it does make me wonder if my heretofore good brain is running out of gas. However, I am still the person who notices that the paper towels or toilet paper are on their last sheet, so I replace both so that no one (meaning ME) will be caught short.

Funny that as often as I espouse the “be yourself” and “do your own thing” and “everyone join hands and sing Kumbaya,” way of life and so forth, I get pretty testy when people (meaning of course the Crankee Yankee) don’t do things as I would. Which only proves that I am still a fallible human, and I always think that my way is the best way. My heart knows better, but I have a very stubborn mind.

This reminds me of the **Red Green show; the men on it belong to a so-called men’s club. Their morning ‘prayer’ is: “I’m a man. I can change. If I have to. I guess…”

I think I’ll have to start repeating that to myself each day, of course substituting ‘woman’ for ‘man.’

*CRS: Can’t Remember Sh*t”

**The Red Green Show is a Canadian television comedy that aired on various channels in Canada, with its ultimate home at CBC Television, and on Public Broadcasting Service (PBS) stations in the United States, from 1991 until the series finale 7 April 2006, on CBC.

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