The Difference Between “Ground” and “Floor” and Other Wordy Annoyances

I will admit to being a really *PITA word/grammar/pronunciation snob. The Crankee Yankee is very used to me hollering at newscasters who say “nookuler” instead of “nuclear.” (That’s only the tip of the grammatical iceberg.)

I used to date someone who constantly said, “Well, you have to take the good with the bad.” <insert picture of me cross-eyed with annoyance, yanking my hair and screaming “noooooooooooooooooo!” here> The saying goes: “You have to take the BAD with the GOOD.” Meaning that, for the good thing you like, there is something bad that you don’t like that comes with it.

Example: I love my four cats. I don’t love it that we have to clean four litter boxes. But we do so because we love the cats (the GOOD) and so will take the BAD (cleaning the litter boxes). See what I mean? So why do I continually hear “You have to take the GOOD with the BAD?” Meaning that, for the BAD thing you DON’T like, there is something GOOD that you DO like that comes with it. Makes NO sense…

Here a few other “favorites” of mine I have griped about in the past:

  • There is no such word as REE-LA-TOR. ‘Realtor’ is pronounced “REEL-TOR.” Also, there is no such word as LIBERRY. It is ‘library,’ pronounced “LIBE-RARY.”
  • When you fall down in a house, a library, a school, the workplace–in short, somewhere indoors, you say that you fell on the floor. When you fall down outside; that is, where there is grass, cement, clay, etc., then you can say that you fell on the ground. It annoys the **crap out of me when people say that they fell on the ground when they in fact fell on the floor.
  • People who make up some variation of a word or phrase that makes no sense. Example: I overheard a waiter speaking with a customer who was talking enthusiastically about the new golf course in town. He had had a great game and that waiter, who proclaimed that he, too was a golfer said, “How did you find the degree of difficulticity of the course?” Seriously?!?
  • It is correct to say “It’s not that big a deal.” It is INCORRECT to say, “It’s not that big OF a deal.” Period.
  • The phrase “gulped at,” as in “he gulped at his drink.” This sounds like he held up his glass near his face and went gulp, gulp, gulp and didn’t actually drink anything. Shouldn’t it be “he gulped (down) his drink?”
  • I recently heard this one on a TV commercial. A pretty girl, sitting in her bedroom, looks at the camera and says, “When I’m on my period, I take <insert brand here>.” Really–she is ON her period? You can be ON a motorcycle, ON a fencepost, ON the horns of a dilemma, etc. However, you HAVE a period, you don’t actually GET ON a period. The phrase should be “when I’m HAVING my period.” Period.
  • The word “jewelry” is not pronounced “JOO-Lery.” Look at how it’s spelled; “JEW-EL-RY.” That’s how you say it; “JEW-EL-RY.” Enough said.

There is a special phrase for people like me, who pick and poke at word/grammar/pronunciation, and generally bore the socks off people. But I’ll just leave that to your imagination. For us, hearing someone say “REE-LA-TOR” is like having a 10″ pin shoved into your eyeball every two seconds. It offends our nitpicky little sensibilities, and we just hate that. Forget the fact that we are annoying as all hell; it just grinds the ever-loving foofraw out of us.

*Pain In The A**

**As so many things like this annoy me, you could say that I am “crapless” most of the time.

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