“*Everybody Eats When They Come to My House”

The Crankee Yankee and I are not only perfect fools for adopting cats (current population in our house: four), but we also feed the neighborhood strays. We have cats who show up for breakfast and dinner, and we also put out food for the birds, squirrels, and, in the warm months; the skunks.

The weather has lately been bitterly cold, especially at night, so we also provide shelter for the strays. Our windowed back porch has a walled-in room underneath, and we prop the door open a “cat crack” at nights. Inside there is a big box stuffed full of warm fleece, and we put out food, water, and a heater. The same niceties are upstairs on the breezeway as well; bed, food, water and a heater. Once a week I wash all the cat bed clothes, too. Yes, you don’t need to say it–we are saps.

Our food budget always includes vet-approved kibble for our own four cats (two of which are pretty portly), as well as a mix of this plus another type of healthy kibble for our outside guests. We occasionally get the odd raccoon or possum, but mainly it’s cats, and we are glad to help them out. For all we know, there may be a group of marauding cats who make it their business to look pathetic, therefore insuring the sympathy and handouts from people like us. But we don’t mind.

We’ve been doing this for years now, and we even have a song about it; “Everybody Eats When They Come to My House.” Whenever we see a new guest, we start singing.

Yup, we’ve been had.

*****************************

*”Everybody Eats When They Come to My House” lyrics by the immortal and talented Cab Calloway follow:

“Have a banana, Hannah,
Try the salami, Tommy,
Give with the gravy, Davy,
Everybody eats when they come to my house!

Try a tomato, Plato,
Here’s cacciatore, Dorie,
Taste the baloney, Tony,
Everybody eats when they come to my house!

I fix your favorite dishes,
Hopin’ this good food fills ya!
Work my hands to the bone in the kitchen alone,
You better eat if it kills ya!

Pass me a pancake, Mandrake,
Have an hors-d’oeuvre-y, Irvy,
Look in the fendel [?], Mendel,
Everybody eats when they come to my house!

Hannah! Davy! Tommy! Dora! Mandrake!
Everybody eats when they come to my house!

Pastafazoola, Talullah!
Oh, do have a bagel, Fagel,
Now, don’t be so bashful, Nashville,
Everybody eats when they come to my house!

Hey, this is a party, Marty,
Here, you get the cherry, Jerry,
Now, look, don’t be so picky, Micky,
‘Cause everybody eats when they come to my house!

All of my friends are welcome,
Don’t make me coax you, moax you,
Eat the tables, the chairs, the napkins, who cares?
You gotta eat if it chokes you!

Oh, do have a knish, Nishia,
Pass me the latke, Macky,
Chile con carne for Barney,
Everybody eats when they come to my house!

Face! Buster! Chair! Chops! Fump!
Everybody eats when they come to my house!”

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s