Fears (That Probably Won’t Ever Happen)

Ever get spooked out about things you feel may happen? I do. My mind tends to go in weird directions when I think too much. I worry about home security, and I am always the last one to bed as I check (and double-check) the windows and doors. Whenever there is a home invasion anywhere in the United States, I look the Crankee Yankee in the eye and say, ‘you see? You see what I mean? Some dum-dum left a window unlocked and they got robbed!’

Bless his heart, he agrees with me–and goes off to sleep like a lamb because he knows I will be checking and re-checking all doors and windows.

Some of my could-happen, probably-would-not happen fears are these:

  • I hate leaving the house with anything plugged in as I’m sure whatever appliance is plugged in is just waiting for us to leave so that it can burn the house down.
  • I worry that one of the cats will knock one of the knives down off the magnetic strip on the cupboard, causing it to fall and sever their tail.
  • I am afraid of spiders crawling into my open mouth (I’m a mouth-breather; deviated septum on one side) while I sleep.
  • I am convinced that a would-be burglar is just waiting for us to leave the house so that he can climb up the ladder (the one the Crankee Yankee refuses to move because he may or may not be working up there–sometime) in the back of the house that leads to the casement window on second floor. That way he can gain access to the house and steal all our stuff. Worse, he would be a careless burglar and leave windows open so that our cats would get out.
  • I am afraid that the toenail I cut too short and hurts a little may cause a deadly infection that will eventually cause my foot to rot off.
  • I fear that some food I’ve neglected in the refrigerator may become incensed that I am not eating it, and will poison the rest of the food in the refrigerator and kill me with fatal mold.
  • I worry that the ONE TIME I do not pass on an urban legend to my friends via email, it will be absolutely true, causing all my friends to die because I didn’t warn them.
  • I am afraid that a big hermit crab will get into the house and I will step on it in the dark.
  • I worry that that strange wisha-washa-WUSHHHH noise the washing machine makes means that the hose will come loose and flood the basement, causing the washer to short out and burn the house down.

So–there you have it. These are my current fears that probably won’t happen–but then, you never know….





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