Is it just me, or do most men have “sideways” conversations? Here’s an example–the other day I asked the Crankee Yankee when he thought he could take a break (he’s been working on the second bathroom) so that he could mail a few packages and letters for me. Here’s what he said in reply:
“Well, I have to go pick up some more planks for the floor, then see about the shower pan so we’ll know how much room we need for the toilet and vanity. Oh, and there’s a delivery of concrete coming for me this afternoon. Also, I need to go get more concrete blocks to finish off the garden border.”
I just looked at him and said, “O-kay–that’s interesting and I’m glad you’re getting so much done up there; and how does all that answer my question about the post office?”
He looked at me as though I had rabbits jumping out of my ears, then said, “Oh! Sorry, right–I’ll go in a few minutes.”
Most men I know seem to have *great focus on what they’re doing, so trying to have a conversation at that time just doesn’t seem to fit in with what’s in their heads….and just for the record, I finally gave up and took the stuff to the post office myself.
Same kind of thing goes for putting things back where they belong. We were getting ready to take two of our cats to the vet. We always spritz their carriers with a calming spray so that they feel a bit better while in the carriers. So I went to the cabinet where all the cattery items are; wet and dry foods, medications, ointments, flea and tick collars, etc. No calming spray to be found. I went downstairs and sure enough, there was the spray, right next to the cat carriers. He had used it for the third cat’s carrier, whose vet visit was a few days ago.
This is Crankee Yankee logic, not mine. It seems a whole lot easier to me to just put things back where you find them so that the other person in the house (me) does not lose her mind looking for it. But he feels that the last place he used it is where it should be. Sigh.
One of the biggest differences between men and women is that we think on different levels (well, that’s a big old ‘DUHH,’ isn’t it?). Women tend to think in layers, like a cake; everything is neatly stacked in our heads and we do each layer, one at a time. Men tend to think in great big messy pools, like spilled ink: all the information is jumbled and tumbled and spread out in big dribs and drabs so that they can pick and choose what they want to address in no particular order.
And finally, I believe that the reason that men have sideways conversations is that their brains actually might be sideways. Wouldn’t THAT explain a lot?
*Meaning don’t talk to them, don’t ask them any questions, and don’t expect them to talk. They are FOCUSED and literally will not hear you.