The First Really Hot Day of the Year

The temps in Seabrook, NH were in the mid-90s yesterday. It’s no secret that we in the Northeast endured a long, cold and snowy winter, and everyone is glad to see (and smell!) fresh greenery and flowers again. The Crankee Yankee and I decided to drive to the coast to do some shopping and see the ocean.

What transpired was a trip to the ocean all right–just at really, really slow speed and with a whole lot of people obscuring the view of the ocean. How ridiculous of us to think that we were the only ones who wanted to be near the beach on the first 90+ day of the year…

Just trying to maneuver through traffic was a challenge—it literally c-r-a-w-l-e-d along. It look an hour and a half to go approximately three miles from Markey’s clam stand to Hampton Beach. However, our elderly car does have great A/C which made the crawl more comfortable. Also, there was free entertainment you can’t buy on Pay For View. For example, there was a large, chain-smoking gal in the car behind us who obviously did not have A/C and was peeved to the point of near insanity about having to creep along in traffic.

We covertly watched her in the rear-view mirror as she alternately lit cigarettes one after another, shaking her fists at the traffic, mimicking strangling everyone in her way, and, by the looks of it, ranting non-stop. There was a young woman in the passenger seat who looked as though she would have rather been anywhere but in that car with the ranting driver; say, sitting smack on the center of the polar icecap.

So there was that. But by the time we got into town, the real entertainment began. Look, I get it that the first hot day is a big deal–we are all sick of wearing tons of clothes, heavy boots, hats, scarves and gloves. One of the many pleasures of spring and summer is that you can wear a lot less clothing.

But I have to say that some of the folks walking around really took the ‘no more heavy clothes’ deal to a near-naked level. The Crankee Yankee and I agreed afterwards that we saw more skin than we’ve ever seen in one place. Seriously. Most of the young men were wearing about what you’d expect; long “*jorts” and footwear so large it looked like they were walking around in small canoes. They either went bare-chested (oh, and did I mention all the tattoos that day? We saw more ink than you’d see at the secret bunker at Disney where the cartoonists draw their magic) or sported t-shirts with sayings on them that I’ll bet their moms never saw.

But it was the women and young girls who were really the show-stoppers. It is said that only about 5% of the female population have “model” bodies. It’s true, because we saw a whole lot of people that day and only about five of the women could have made the cover of Sports Illustrated.

Look, I am the first woman to admit that I am not perfect–I do not uncover my upper arms, abs or thighs in public for any reason. So I dress to cover flaws and accentuate my goodish parts; you know, like my head, my ankles, my wrists; and, if I’m feeling especially good about myself–my hands and elbows.

But I think that the overriding concern yesterday was just to get as much skin as possible out there in the sun. And boy–did we see plenty of it! It was clearly a day when all beach goers woke up and, as one, said, “screw it–I don’t care what I look like–I’m going to strip down to just where I don’t get arrested and get me some SUN!”

There were many too-small bikinis, butt-cracks, literally tons of unrestrained cleavage, and, for some reason we couldn’t figure out–lots of young women wearing tiny shorts with the fly unzipped nearly all the way down to way over PG13 viewing.

So, the hour and a half passed entertainingly. When we finally reached the restaurant we’d planned on visiting, it was of course packed to the gills. So we let that go and headed to our local Mexican restaurant where it was considerably less crowded–after all, our little town is no where near the beach. After enjoying eye-wateringly hot chipotle burritos and salsa, we had a good laugh over our seaside adventure.

Welcome to early summer, everyone! May it be as entertaining for you as it has been (so far) for us.

*These are long denim shorts that end up mid-calf (longer if the wearer does not pull up his pants).

 

 

 

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