Something New in Bed

(Oh, grow up–it’s not what you think!)

The Crankee Yankee (my husband) doesn’t like the weight of blankets on his feet. He already has restless legs, so any pressure on his feet just makes everything worse (and not just for him, either, if you know what I mean!). So I ordered him one of those bed frame thing-ys that lift the covers up and keep them off your feet. Just last night he assembled it, and I spied a problem right away:

This gizmo looks like this:

The Ultimate Guide to Preventing Foot Drop

What you don’t see in this photo is that the bottom of it tucks in between the mattress and the box spring. This means that either you don’t tuck the sheets in on that side (which would push me right over the edge into the abyss of the Bed-Making Perfectionist Seventh Level of Hell), or you install it once you put the top sheet on and tuck it in. That way only the blanket and comforter are lifted up, and you only have to remove the gizmo when you change the bed.

Once we stopped arguing and the Crankee Yankee installed it so that the sheets were tucked in, we put the blanket (which now can only be tucked in at the bottom of the bed on my side) and comforter (which is never tucked in anyway) on, he got in bed. He pronounced it perfect for keeping the weight off his feet, which means that both of us will sleep better.

Perfect problem solver, right? Well–sort of. With the blanket lifter gizmo installed in the bed, the finished bed looks like there is a bird cage under the blanket at the foot of the bed. Not only that, but our one “burrowing” cat, Pookie (who spends most of his waking hours sleeping under blankets anyway), thinks it’s a neat-o under-cover cabana just for him.

Sigh. At least the Crankee Yankee and Pookie are happy. Me, I just wanted ONE room in the house to look normal. But then again, none of the rooms in the house are normal, so why should our bedroom be any different?

So much for new things in bed!


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