Don’t You Just Hate It When…

Oh, don’t you just hate it when:

  • It’s so cold out you have to wear three pairs of socks, then squeeze your feet into your boots–and then realize that the first pair have somehow twisted around so that the heel part ends up on top of your feet. Then you have to pull off all three pairs and start over again.
  • You put all your stuff into your snazzy new purse and then your cell phone rings, and you have to search wildly for it because it’s not where it was in your old purse.
  • You order a really cute top online, get it in the mail and find out that the back of the top has a huge rhinestone-studded grinning skull on it which was not mentioned in the description. (Unless you’re into that sort of thing…)
  • You just finished vacuuming the rugs and just as soon as you’re finished, one of the cats barfs up a tremendous hairball on the biggest rug in the house.
  • You order a dish from the local Chinese restaurant, remembering how much you used to like it. It arrives at the table, and you instantly remember that this is not the dish you remember so fondly. Plus it is bathed in that icky whitish sauce you hate, not the delicious brown sauce you love.
  • You call a store to complain about something you bought and during the conversation you realize that the item you’re complaining about in fact came from another store. And then you pretend that there was a power hit and the phone cut out (but you really just hung up).
  • You fall asleep on the sofa but still drag your sorry self into the bathroom to wash up and put on night cream. After you pat on what you thought was the expensive eye gel you splurged on, you realize that you’re just put Preparation H around your eyes…
  • When you bang your funnybone against something–it’s really not all that funny.
  • When someone creepy sits next to you on the bus. When you try to discreetly move over, they just move closer to you. Ew.
  • When you’re in traffic and really get into a song you love and you’re singing your head off–then notice that the person driving next to you is pointing and laughing at you.
  • You’re enjoying a nice lunch in a nice restaurant by yourself, and then an entire family sits right behind you. Which wouldn’t be that bad except that the baby has just discovered her voice and screams like a hexed tea kettle.
  • When you use the bathroom at someone’s house and then flush–and the contents do not go down. You whisper ‘please, please, PLEASE’ feverishly, praying that the toilet does not overflow–and then it does.

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