Erroneous Assumptions

The Crankee Yankee (my husband) actually coined this phrase. It was after dinner, and I asked him if he had locked up the downstairs (which goes out to the backyard) for the night. He said that he wasn’t sure if he did, but thought so. As I’ve heard this before, I went downstairs to check and also to see if the washer had stopped.

Well, the door was still unlocked (and the washer was still washing), so I locked up, then came upstairs and told him the door had not been locked after all. He peered at me over the top of his glasses, and said, “It appears that my assumption was *erroneous.”

For some reason, that cracked me up. So that lead into a discussion of what constitutes a real erroneous assumption. Here’s our short list (so far):

  • That common sense still exists
  • That kids understand cause and effect and get it the first time
  • That we really do learn from history and do not make the same mistakes again
  • That cats don’t mean to barf on rugs rather than floors
  • That all the abuse we subjected our bodies to won’t come back to haunt us later on; i.e., torn rotator cuffs, bad knees, worn-out ligaments, etc.
  • That our ex-husbands/wives/partners will finally see the error of their ways and apologize for what they did to us
  • That texting and/or drinking while driving are ok
  • That we will never need glasses
  • That good intentions mean good actions
  • That politicians tell the truth
  • That unasked-for advice is always welcome
  • That you will never fart in public
  • That the “25 MPH” sign at both ends of our street actually mean “52 MPH”
  • That those of us who never raised children know everything about raising them
  • That our prom dress will always fit
  • That we will always remember all the words to “The Times They Are A’Changing”
  • That others really want to hear our opinions
  • That we make a mistake and never do it again
  • That cats love the water and being bathed
  • That the same telemarketer/survey person/scam artist will never call again
  • That our toddler will never have a meltdown in a public place
  • That we can still drink the way we did in college and not be out of commission for days afterward
  • That words speak louder than actions

…and of course there will be more erroneous assumptions made all over the place…just wait and see.

*According to Websters Dictionary; “wrong or mistaken.”

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