I really do have a “serious” exercise routine; I walk down to the pond and all around it as often as I can, and on off days I do a set of band exercises that works me out head to foot. However, it turns out that my everyday-cannot-miss exercise is Cat Aerobics, performed by me and the Crankee Yankee (my husband) each day. Here’s the schedule:
4:30 am: One or two cats wake us up by jumping on our heads, scuffling loudly or barfing. (I think that they choose straws each day for this.) The desired outcome is to get us up to feed and water them all. Nala, our one female, gets fed on the office window sill. Pookie, our youngest male, likes to eat his food under my armoire in the bedroom. Pepper, our older male, wants his food served in the busiest foot traffic area in the kitchen; on the floor right where we need to stand in order to prepare food and use the sink. Once he’s had his fill, he wants the dish moved under the kitchen table. (Seriously–he will stand there looking up for minutes on end if we don’t do it.)
5:00 am: The Crankee Yankee cleans the litter boxes (bless him!) and whatever mess and mayhem the skunks, racoons and other wildlife have left down under the porch during the night. He then refills the under-the-porch food and water for the early morning skunks, and puts out food and water for the neighborhood cat freeloaders…yep, we are suckers.
6:00am: The Crankee Yankee and I finally get to have coffee and breakfast. After that, one of us has to fill the bathroom sink with cold water so that the cats can drink out of it at will. This is in addition to the three full water bowls they have, plus one extra one downstairs. They just like the novelty.
7:30 am: I chase down Pepper to clean his ears in preparation for the three transdermal meds he has to have each morning and night. This is not a routine he really cares for as the meds are administered via Q-tip onto the inside of the ear flap. This also means I have to promise him that I will give him an extra spoonful of food right afterwards. If that weren’t enough, every third day he has an oral med, which means he can’t eat for a half hour before and a half hour after. This means that all three cats’ food bowls have to come up for that time. No one is a big fan.
8:00 am: I have to chase Pepper again to clean one more ear, so the Crankee Yankee can give him his last dose for the morning.
You could say that, except for the necessity of giving Pepper his life-saving meds, we brought this on ourselves, and you’d be right. The cats run the house, we merely pay the bills and provide services. They say that dogs have masters, but cats have staff. We ARE the staff.
I would write more, but right now all three cats have come out of a secret meeting demanding we put on Animal Planet and fluff up their beds.