I loved the movie “The Bucket List,” and it got me thinking about those things I said that I always wanted to do. For example, in my 20s some of my Bucket List contained such entries as:
- Ride an elephant
- Take a balloon ride
- Go to the Gobi desert and search for dinosaur bones
- Work with Jacques Cousteau on the Calipso
- Write *TGAN
- Climb Mt. Washington
In my 30s, I added:
- Meet some of my favorite writers
- Meet some of my favorite actors
- Live on the beach
- Design my own clothing line
- Become a black belt
- Get married
- Have a baby
I did actually achieve some of these items in my bucket list:
- I become a 4th degree black belt
- I wrote a 9-chapter children’s book that hasn’t yet been published, and along with my mom, wrote a rhyming children’s book that DID get published (“Shopping at the Ani-Mall,” published by Windswept House, Mt. Desert, ME, 1991)
- I climbed Mt. Washington four times
- I got married (twice), and, although I did not have a child of my own, I became step-mom to two amazing and incredibly wonderful young women (one for each marriage). I also received a gift I didn’t even realize I wanted until the day my grand-daughter was born. Think of every word in the English language that means wonderful, fabulous, great, unique and marvelous–and you get a pale image of how much that kid means to me.
What I didn’t realize when I was younger is that we change daily; no, make that minute-to-minute. Our lives tick on, and we either take steps to achieve our dreams or we don’t. Often we change our minds mid-stream, and go in another direction. There are times we think we want to do or be something because it sounds great, but when it comes down to it, we really don’t want to do it or be it. And sometimes, we realize that what we’ve been chasing isn’t really what we wanted.
Having a bucket list is a great thing. Working on the items on the bucket list is a great thing, too. But the best thing is re-writing the bucket list. Our priorities change, consequently our direction changes, too. Therefore I invented the F*ckit List. At my age, I no longer wish to ride an elephant, I’ve seen too many hot air balloon accidents (so a big NO on that one); I wouldn’t go to the Gobi desert on a bet because it’s way too hot, I’ve outlived Jacques Cousteau, and the very idea of the bottom of the ocean terrifies me. (Also, the idea of seeing stuff that shouldn’t be in the ocean but is [i.e., the Titanic, wrecked planes, old washing machines, etc.] makes me want to vomit, void every bodily orifice and scream–which, I believe, if all these events happen at the same time, will kill you.)
These days my bucket list includes more practical things, such as:
- Appreciate family and friends
- Do good work
- Be kind
- Show love
- Laugh a lot
- Forgive a lot
- Write as much as possible
- Be generous
- Be involved in worthy things
- Be absolved of all past mistakes (it’s how we learn)
- Be present
- Keep an attitude of gratitude
- Do good things
- Listen well
- Let go of grudges
- Let the past be the past
- Sing
- Dance
- Make people laugh
- Have no regrets
The step-up-from-practical-but do-able items on my Bucket List are now:
- Visit Hawaii
- See the Painted Desert
- Go to the opera
- Buy a new sofa and two comfy chairs
- Pet a baby owl
- Gather sea shells from many beaches
- Camp out somewhere where I can see the sky full of stars
- Have a facial and massage every month
My F*cket List is full of out-dated, impractical and no-longer-interesting stuff that is fun to look at (like photos from high school), but has no hope of happening. Oh, and past regrets and bad relationships go in there as well. That’s really the purpose of the F*cket List; stuff you can look over and say, “what was I thinking??”
*The Great American Novel