His Way, My Way, and the Highway

I suppose that the Crankee Yankee (aka, my husband) and I are no different from any other married couple. For the most part, we get along well, and we like, love and appreciate each other. We have similar beliefs and interests, and we both love our families, our friends and our cats. We laugh at the same stupid jokes, and consider ourselves very lucky people.

However, when it comes down to basic day-to-day living, there are some issues–I call them My Way, His Way and the Highway.

My Way: if something is nearly empty, such as the toilet paper on the roll, I immediately get another package to have ready when the roll does run out. Therefore no one is stuck sitting there with no paperwork, as it were. If we are down to the last few cans of cat food, I stock up immediately (envisioning a sudden and brutal snowstorm that will prevent us from leaving the house, much less going to the grocery store). When the jar of peanut butter is down to the last scrapings, I go down to the pantry and bring up the new jar. You see where I’m going with this, right? I’m thwarting future frustration by present preparation–an excellent habit, if I do say so myself.

His Way: if the Crankee Yankee even notices that the toilet paper roll is nearly empty, he uses it all except the last sheet (so that he can truthfully say, ‘I left you some!’). If the cat food supply is low, he may wait until there is one can left and then go get more. [I have to interject here that I know with all my heart that the Crankee Yankee would empty his own veins first before he let our cats go hungry.] If the peanut butter is down to the last scrapings, he will thoroughly remove the last bit, lick it off the knife and put the empty jar in the trash. After all, there’s another jar downstairs, right? His way is one of absolute faith in abundance.

The Highway: this is where all the useless, senseless and bottomless arguments go. As you can probably guess by now, most of mine go this route. Somewhere between my Nazi-like insistence that things are better done my way, and his constant optimism that things will get done as they need to be done, we somehow manage.

In the meantime, the highway is continually littered with my paranoia and delusions of world-wide rationing of toilet paper and peanut butter….


3 thoughts on “His Way, My Way, and the Highway

  1. Phyllis Ring says:

    Thank you SO much for the delight of this today, Jane. ” … no one is stuck sitting there with no paperwork, as it were.” – a line I am never going to forget!

  2. lulujbf7 says:

    Thanks, Phyllis–

    I’m glad you got a kick out of this. Sometimes real life is funnier than TV!!

  3. Lissa says:

    Re: the toilet paper issue. Same here. I usually ask “what did you expect me to do with this?”, meaning that last little scrap. Women unite! ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!! PS. Love the blog. Keep up the good work!

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