It’s Ok to be Kind to Yourself

Most of us enjoy being givers; it’s wonderful to make someone you care for happy. But it’s perfectly ok to be kind to yourself and give to yourself. So many of us give to others at such a point that we find we can’t be as kind to ourselves as we are with others. As wonderful as it is to light up someone’s day, we also deserve some kindness.

I used to know a woman who gave to many good causes. If she read about someone or some organization that needed help, she was on it like a duck on a june bug. If she knew someone who was out of work, she would be the first one at their door with a cake and a comforting smile.

However, when she herself was in need, she refused to accept anything from anybody. She felt that others more “worthy” than herself needed the help. She was a good and decent person, but she had a hard time accepting kindness and help.

It really is ok to be kind to yourself. You are worthy of it, and you’d be amazed at how much better you feel when you treat yourself to a bit of kindness. If you buy yourself those beautiful teal sandals that you’ve been drooling for, it hurts no one.

Please remember this: YOU matter. YOU are worthy. YOU deserve kindness.


When We Can Let Fear Go

I wrote this last year after I came home from Oahu.


Ever since I was a child, I was scared of deep water because I was afraid that there would be downed airplaces down there. I even went to three different psychics who all told me the same thing; I was a pilot in one of the wars, and I was shot down and went into the ocean and died there. None of this did me much good except to make me more fearful than ever.

I have hated and feared the bottom of lakes, ponds and oceans all of my life. It terrified me to see things in the water that shouldn’t be there; sunken ships, cars, airplanes, etc. When the movie “Titanic” came out and the real wreckage of the Titanic was shown, I couldn’t breathe. The panic I felt was extremely real.

There is a program now on television called “Drain the Oceans.” With technology, they can “draw back” the water and see wrecks that appear to be in the sunshine, and on sand. That I can handle. It was just seeing wrecks under water that scared me.

And then I went to Hawaii. I had a tour every other day, and my first one was Pearl Harbor. The Pearl Harbor Memorial on the day I went was being worked on, so we couldn’t go on it. However, we were able to go aboard boats to get close to the USS Arizona. It took every bit of courage for me to look down and see it on the bottom of the ocean.

But something amazing happened: all I felt was sorrow and compassion for all the brave people who died in the USS Arizona. All I could see was a resting place for those brave men and women. The young naval guides on our boat told us that many people who were there for Pearl Harbor but did not die, made provisions for their own funerals. They ask to be cremated and their ashes put in urns where divers can take them down to the USS Arizona to finally be at rest with their buddies.

After I went back to my hotel room, I wept for those who died, and for the families who had loved them. When I could pull myself back together again, I realized that my fear of deep water was gone; gone for good. I could finally let my fears go, and whether or not any of those psychics were right about my death as a pilot; well, perhaps I was. All I know now is that my fears are pretty much gone. I can say that the USS Arizona healed my fears.

For me, this was how I let go of fear, and it has changed my life.

Neat Little Miracles

Ever notice that when you are thinking of something, say, a new pair of bedroom slippers (because the old ones are falling apart), you find the exact same bedroom slippers you wanted? AND in your size? Coincidence? Luck? Nope; it’s just a neat little miracle.

How about when you go to a restaurant hoping against hope that the fabulous dish you’ve been craving is still on the menu? (No peeking online!) Then you order that fabulous dish (to go, of course) and they give you the very last one? Coincidence? Luck? Nope; it’s just a neat little miracle.

All of a sudden, you have the urge to splurge on a gorgeous bracelet that you just know you will love and cherish for the rest of your life. There you are, standing in front of the jewelry section, nearly drooling over that gorgeous bracelet—but it is SO beautiful that it must be hideously expensive. It is then that you look over to the side of the display where there is a sign which reads: “all bracelets fifty percent off!” coincidence? Luck? Nope; it’s just a neat little miracle.

You may or may not believe in miracles, but still they exist. Oh, you can say that it’s just coincidence or whatever, but no; when things go your way it’s just a neat little miracle.





Matrika Shakti – The Power of Words

I found this online and it has quite literally changed my life. 


Matrika Shakti, by Julee Yew-Crijns

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”  ~Upanishads
Words have power. In Sanskrit, this power is ‘Matrika shakti’, the creative energy behind the letters that make up the words. It is said that each Sanskrit letter has a sound vibration that resonates in our subtle energetic body and in the cosmos. This corresponds with what science tells us, that everything vibrates, including the cells in our body. These vibrations can lead to thoughts, which may lead to feelings which may manifest through words and actions.

Words can be those we receive from others as well as those we receive from ourselves, through verbalisation or thoughts. Words are like seeds that we plant, that will influence the quality of our mental wellbeing. Our inner thoughts form a big part of Matrika Shakti. We are usually our worst judge. Throughout the day, we probably criticise ourselves without even being aware of it! And we say things to ourselves that we would never say even to our enemies! This energy (shakti) resides in our body and when can manifest as thoughts, feelings or actions. So in other words, our thoughts may create an outcome that you may not desire.

Yoga asana and meditation practice is a great mode to help us realize this and cultivate kinder, softer, non-judgemental internal (or verbal) dialogue. The more we practice watching this, the more mindful we will become of our thoughts and our words. When we begin to create more peace and love and kindness within ourselves, we also create more peace, love and kindness around us. Remember, our vibration is powerful. It does not just affect us. Words are not needed for someone to feel our anger, pain, frustration, or our love and kindness. I remember the first time I encountered a Rinpoche. I was a child. My whole being felt so incredible expansive, just from a distant encounter, that I remember that feeling even now.

Yoga asana practice can be our great teacher if we allow it to be. By this, I mean to practice mindfully. Move slowly, feel everything and expand the range of your feelings as your body opens. Hear what your body and thoughts are feeding back to you and take time to digest* your practice, so that you can practice letting go of all those things that you hold on to that no longer serves any purpose -fear, anger, limitations, habits… these are useful sometimes but we have to be aware when they are and when they are not..

And remember, it takes time. I often have to be reminded of this myself.
It is a practice, and like all practices, we will have great moments and tough moments
All equally important. Really, there is no bad practice, all is practice.

The Girl Who Loved the Moon

The moon is my favorite planet; I love it in every phase.


There once was a girl who loved the moon. It looked so enticing to her; luminous and shining, and surely as cold as vanilla bean ice cream. Each time there was a full moon she barely slept—she propped her head up on her arms in her bedroom window, and watched the full moon rise up in the sky. She imagined that she could hear a slight humming noise as it rose higher and higher; that it knew she was watching and hummed its ancient tune just for her.

She even thought that she looked a bit like the moon with her pale silver-blonde hair, light skin and pale gray eyes. The only colors she ever wore were white, silver, pale blue and dove gray (her mother had given up on trying to get her to wear frilly pink dresses). When she ate toast for breakfast, she trimmed it to fit the moon’s phases; full, half, and quarter. She only shrugged when her friends called her “Moon Girl,” and warned her that she would become a lonely astronomer, spending her nights staring at the stars, but always first; the moon.

One night, she decided she would find a way to get closer to the moon. She asked her father to help her build a treehouse in the large oak tree beside the house. They went to the hardware store and bought planks of wood, nails, tar paper for the roof, a door and a window. In a few weeks, her treehouse was done. She brought in her sleeping bag and a pillow, a small chair, a flashlight, and a notebook and a pen—just in case the moon wanted to talk to her.

On the summer nights, she slept in her treehouse each night. On cold winter nights, she bundled up and stayed out until her parents called her inside. One day she caught a bad cold, and her mother scolded her for staying out in the cold.

“Why do you have to be up there in your treehouse in the winter?” her mother asked while tucking her in.

“To keep the moon company,” she replied. Her mother sighed and said, “darling, the moon has lots of company; billions of stars and clouds!”

“But they can’t talk to him like I can,” she said stubbornly and then sneezed. Her mother rolled her eyes and went downstairs to fetch a cup of chicken soup.

The girl hopped out of bed and stood in front of her window. The moon was only half-full, and she waved and blew it a kiss before getting back into bed. When her mother came up with soup and crackers she found she was sound asleep. She tiptoed out and closed the bedroom door.

As the girl settled deeper into sleep, she began to dream. In her dream, she and the moon were walking side by side on a sunny beach, talking to each other. She wondered in the dream how the moon was walking, and looked down. The moon had silver beams for arms and legs, and as she looked closer, she saw that the moon had a smiling, kindly face.

“Well!” said the moon. “It’s nice to be out walking with you like this. Isn’t it a pretty day?”

“Yes, it’s lovely,” said the girl. “But how are you here with me in the daylight? I only ever see you at night.”

“Since we are in your dream together, my dear friend, we can be anywhere.” The moon winked at her. “And since you got a cold from sitting in your treehouse to keep me company, I thought you’d enjoy a nice walk on the beach with my other friend, the Sun.” With that, he looked up and waved to a smiling yellow sun, who, to the girl’s surprise, smiled and waved back.

“Have you always been friends?” asked the girl.

The moon chuckled and said, “Yes, and for many years, too.”

The girl walked on, enjoying the feel of the warm sand on her feet.

“Do you ever get lonely?” she asked.

“Why, no, I don’t,” smiled the moon. “You see, besides my old friend, the sun, I have billions and trillions of stars for friends, just as your mother said.”

“Am I one of your friends?” asked the girl.

“Of course you are!” The moon winked at her, and went on. “Over the many years I have been in the sky, I have had many human friends.”

They walked on, talking of this and that.

Then the moon stopped walking, and looked down at her.

“You know, it’s time for you to wake up,” he said kindly.

“Oh no! I’m having such a good time with you!” cried the girl. The moon gently picked up her hand, and kissed the back of it.

“You don’t have to worry about me,” the moon said. “I have been here for more years than I can say. You don’t have to spend your life watching for me and worrying. Im’ fine, and so will you be.”

The girl gave the moon a watery smile, and nodded.





Time to Laugh Again

The following is an oldy but goody. Besides, we could really use some laughter now!


Life and Success

Charles Schulz

“My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I’m happy. I can’t figure it out. What am I doing right?”

J. P. Getty

“My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil.”

Reba McEntire

“To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.”

James A. Garfield

“Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter.”


Lies and Self-Deprecation

Thomas Sowell

“It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.”

“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.”

Mel Brooks

“I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I’m one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know.”

S.E. Hinton

“I lie to myself all the time. But I never believe me.”

Abraham Lincoln

“No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.”

“Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.”



“I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.”

W. C. Fields

“I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.”

George Bernard Shaw

“He who can does—he who cannot, teaches.”


Love and Attraction

Jay Leno

[Putting his arms around British personality and food journalist Nigella Lawson] “My wife is going to kill me. But you look like my wife, so that’s OK!”

Jerry Seinfeld

“Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God’s final word on where your lips end.”

George Bernard Shaw

“Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.”

Ambrose Bierce

“Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

“She’s a wonderful, wonderful person, and we’re looking to a happy and wonderful night—ah, life.”



“Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.”

Oscar Levant

“Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m schizophrenic, and so am I.”


Aging, Happiness, and Health

Luis Bunuel

“Age is something that doesn’t matter unless you are a cheese.”

George Burns

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”

Mark Twain

“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.”



Pablo Picasso

“I’d like to live like a poor man—only with lots of money.”



Mark Twain

“Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”

Sen. Bob Dole

“Our intent will not be to create gridlock. Oh, except maybe from time to time.”



“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”



Jim Carrey

“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”

Henny Youngman

“If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.”

Steve Martin

“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”

Josh Billings

“Every man has his follies—and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.”

Anthony Burgess

“Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.”

W. H. Auden

“We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don’t know.”



How to Avoid Trouble

It’s a sad commentary these days that people have had their purses and wallets stolen in supermarkets, walking down the street, boarding an airplane and so on. However, you can avoid this sort of thing by playing it smart:

  • Backpacks: usually they have zippers on them; if you have a backpack on your back (where zippers are facing out) you would never know if someone behind you unzipped your backpack and took something out of it.
  • Purses: Ladies, do NOT leave your purse on the shopping cart, even if you are merely walking over to pick up a carton of eggs. Either keep the purse in your cart and stay with the cart, or sling your purse over your shoulder if you leave your cart.
  • Back pockets: it’s amazing how some people don’t feel their wallet slowly slipping out of their back pocket. Keep your wallet in sight or put it in a front pocket or in your purse.
  • Gassing up your vehicle: put your car keys in your pocket and lock all doors. It is incredibly easy for someone to open your side door and grab your purse or wallet while you are filling your gas tank. Play it safe and lock it up; and of course put your keys in your pocket.
  • Leaving your vehicle unlocked while going into a store for “just a minute:” I don’t care if you take five seconds; your vehicle and everything in it is as risk. Lock up no matter what.
  • Walking or jogging alone: ALWAYS take your phone with you. ALWAYS have something with you to defend yourself (pepper spray to the eyes is great). ALWAYS let someone know where you are going and when you expect to be back home. DO NOT wear head phones; you may think that you can hear what or who ever is around you, but if you are listening to your music you are not paying attention about who may be around you.
  • Don’t fall for someone asking you to come to their car window to ask a question: ALWAYS keep your distance. ALWAYS take a good look at who is in the car. DO NOT fall for the old “I lost my dog, can you help me find him?” Forget manners; RUN AWAY.
  • And finally: Leaving your pet or child in the car on a blazing hot day: it doesn’t take much time for the heat to harm (and possibly kill) your pet or child. Take the time to go home and put your pet back in your house. Take your child with you into the store.

I truly don’t mean to scare anyone; just be aware always if you are out alone. Let someone know that you are out jogging/walking and when you expect you’ll be back. When you get home, call that someone and let them know that you are safe at home. If you are walking/running on a street with your headphones on, grooving to the music, be aware of who and what is around you. It doesn’t take much time for someone to stop, grab you and pull you into the vehicle.


The Lessons of Waitressing

Oh, I know; it isn’t “correct” now to call servers waitresses or waiters. Be that as it may, I learned a lot about people and business when I waitressed at a popular ice cream and breakfast, lunch and dinner at the best restaurant in town during the summer; I worked there all during the summers to save up for college.

It was a very popular place to eat, and the tourists just loved it. The owners of the restaurant made sure that we waitresses knew exactly what to do and also how to treat customers. We were always on the go, too; if there was any slack in the day, we always found something to do; cleaning out the coffee pots, folding napkins on the paper place mats, and so on.

Often we would get crabby and cranky folks who never seemed to be satisfied with anything. That became a challenge to us to stay friendly and smile no matter what. This too was a lesson in patience for me; later on in life it came in handy. I didn’t realize it at the time, but being a waitress taught me a lot about people and I found that it helped me to understand people better. In fact, it was a life lesson that I still remember.

There were some funny sides to waitressing. One day a young couple came into the restaurant, looking a bit on the grumpy side; in fact, they started bickering just as soon as they sat down. The man ordered an open-face egg salad sandwich; the woman wanted nothing, and started crying again. The man picked up his sandwich and threw it in her face! The resturant owner walked over to their table and said, “I don’t care what your problem is, but just LEAVE.” And so they did.

The restaurant was famous for many things, but the huge favorite was the lobster salad and the fruit salad. They were so popular that we always ran out of them around noon time. I had a couple who had driven up from New Jersey just to have the salads. Luckily, there were two left. I had the salads on my tray, and as I walked toward their table a little boy zoomed out of nowhere and ran into my leg. I lost my balance and both salads crashed onto the floor.

Not only did I feel terrible about this, but worse of all, those were the last of the lobster and fruit salads that day. The customers as well as the owner had seen it and no one blamed me, but boy did I feel bad about those folks who had driven up so far for those salads.

I learned a lot from waitressing, and to this day I thank any wait person who brings me food. Trust me; it’s not an easy job!

Each Person is Good

I saw this online and was deeply moved by it.

Image may contain: 2 people, text

Can you believe how healing it would be to a suffering person hearing nothing but praise, love and goodness about himself? Instead of being villified for the bad things a person has done, just imagine how it would be to hear family and friends reminding that person of all the good things they have done.

We always flog ourselves for real and imagined things we have done or not done. This makes us feel unworthy, unloved and uncared for. At many times in our lives we have done good things; these are the things we should focus on, not the bad.

As I am a life-long member of the “Stupid Me” club, this beautiful word, Ubuntu, will now serve as a reminder that me and everyone else in this world is more good than we are bad.