Last night for about the 30 millionth time, I went downstairs to check if the Crankee Yankee (my husband) had locked the door and shut the light off (the brilliant blazing one that lights up everyone’s backyard). And last night, for about the 29th millionth time, I locked the door and shut off the light.
As I fumed my way upstairs I thought, ‘how can he come down here late at night and NOT lock up and turn the lights off?’ When I calmed down, I realized that worry was my main problem, not the Crankee Yankee. I realized that I am worried about me; that *I* will be the one who forgets to check the locks one night and thieves will break in and steal all the cat food…or something just as ridiculous. Don’t get me wrong; I am a card-carrying Security Nazi. But more than that, I am a fallible human who forgets things from time to time…as do we all.
When I let all those ‘worry bees’ buzz in my head I remembered something; he has ALWAYS forgotten stuff like this. I’ve known him over half my life, and know perfectly well that he is and has been a champion forgetter. Of course, this didn’t stop me from telling him the next morning, ‘you forgot to lock up and shut the lights off downstairs–AGAIN!’ in a self-righteous and hectoring tone. He said that he has a lot on his mind (and to be honest, he really does) and just–forgets sometimes. So do I.
Well, I can’t look into those melting brown eyes of his and stay mad at him. Moreover, I immediately thought of all the times I have done stupid and forgetful things and he just waves it off with a ‘hey, everyone forgets things–don’t worry about it.’ Then he offers up the sweetest words a man can say to his wife, “Don’t worry–I’ll take care of it.” And then he does.
We have agreed to just go on as normal, only this time we agreed to just have each others’ back. Which is what I should have remembered from all the years I’ve known the Crankee Yankee–he is loyal to a fault, forgiving as a saint, kind, generous and considerate (not to mention loving with his whole heart). Based on all that, occasional forgetfulness is just a bump in the road. Besides, he’s kindly averted his eyes from some real bloopers I’ve done and just as kindly NOT rubbed my nose in them.
So from now on, each time I have to check the locks and lights (heck, I’m the Security Officer of the house anyway!), and each time he has to check that I haven’t parked on the newly-tarred curb in front of our house and mashed it down or forgotten to check the oil–we can just say we have each others’ backs.
That’s kind of the backbone of a relationship anyway, when you think about it.